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Merry Christmas, Losers!

December 25, 2008 by  
Filed under Blog Crap

To all you geeks out there, I just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays if you’re partial to other festivities. We all know that Christmas is all about receiving presents and being with loved ones, so I hope everyone gets what they want. Just don’t forget, it’s also a time to give. So if you’re a rich bastard, give something to someone!

Later, losers!

Enjoy these Christmas babes!

This is The Poker Jerk

December 22, 2008 by  
Filed under Blog Crap

Hi, I’m The Poker Jerk. I’m better than you at everything, especially poker. As someone who makes a living playing online poker 15-20 tables at a time, I think you’ll agree that I rule. If not, you just don’t know me well enough – Yet.

That’s why I decided to start this poker blog. To share the wealth of information that resides in my beautiful head. I’ll be talking about poker strategies, news, poker room reviews, and offering great bonus codes so you can get some free money to lose to me.

Let’s get things straight first of all. I’m a jerk. A real asshole (I could have called this site “The Poker Asshole” but that just sounds perverse). I pull no punches, and don’t hold back on sharing exactly what I am thinking, good or bad. This is because I know I am better than everyone at just about everything. If you can’t take it, go cry to your momma. If you can, you will learn to be like me – smart and successful (sorry I can’t help you with your looks).

For those people, stick around and enjoy the site. You will be a better person because of it (but not better than me).

Some random facts about The Poker Jerk

  • The Poker Jerk’s wife left him a few years ago, the bitch. Now it’s just him and Buddy.
  • Buddy is The Poker Jerk’s dog. He is loyal to the end, and will never leave him. But Buddy is dumb, and farts a lot.
  • The Poker Jerk was a national kickboxing champion several years ago.
  • The Poker Jerk holds a Guinness World Record for salsa dancing.
  • The Poker Jerk practises Hong Gar Kung Fu, but is not a national champion
  • The Poker Jerk’s favorite pros are Mike Matusow and Liz Lieu
  • The Poker Jerk refuses to play any non-turbo Sit N Go games unless he has some coke in him