Worst Starting Hands in Texas Hold em

Hey losers, as far as strategies go, there are infinite ways to win at poker. You have most likely already discovered the losing ways (thanks for the money, by the way). There are a few hands that, when drawn, you should just fold and forget about even trying to salvage them. Here are some of the worst starting hands to keep in mind next time you are playing:

• 2-7 – The most infamous starting hand in poker, which you should fold every time especially if unsuited. They are the lowest cards you can have that cannot make a straight (with 4 cards between 2 and 7, you’ll get nothing from the flop). Even if you have a suited 2-7 it will be an easily beatable low flush, and if either pairs it’ll be very low as well.
• 2-8 – Like above, but not much better. Fold this hand as well.
• 3-7, 3-8 – Again, closer to becoming useful, but still not there. It will beat the above hands, but will get beaten by so many others, including an almost equally crappy 3-8.
• 2-9, 3-9, 4-9 – Barely better than the crap hands above, but still beatable by anyone with pocket 10′s or better. If you get a flop filled with low cards, don’t let that 9 fool you into thinking you have a better hand than anyone else either. You won’t get a straight with this.
• 2-10 – Although Hall of Famer Doyle Brunson infamously captured two World Series Bracelets with it, don’t go thinking you can do the same as one of the best players the game has ever seen.
• 5-9 – Like you, this hand has proven to be a loser, even suited. So don’t bother trying.
• 4-7, 4-8, 5-8, 3-6, etc – If you draw low, unsuited cards, don’t try to be a hero. Just fold. I’ve seen too many dumbasses try to build a straight out of nothing, and get pwned just about every time.
• Face Card + Low Card, Unsuited – Don’t be fooled by that face. This is probably the most common beginner mistake – noobs building a nice pot for me, thinking they can build something with their single face card, only to be beaten by a better kicker. Keep it up, losers!
• Ace + Low Card, Unsuited – Another common mistake by noobs, should be avoided especially at big tables. Don’t bother playing this unless you’re in a blind. Even then, watch out because chances are someone is going to beat you with their kicker. Again. Loser.

Poker Strategy: Slow Playing

Merry Christmas, losers! If you think I will be taking today off, you would be wrong. I need to get this blog filled up with information, so I have to write something at least once a day. I’ll be talking about all sorts of general advice and strategies every day, so make sure you subscribe to my newsletter to the right, or my RSS feed.

On this fine Christmas day, I’ll be talking about slow playing a.k.a. sandbagging or trapping, a sure way to piss off fellow losers at the table when you catch them off guard with this technique.

The easiest way to think of slow play is basically that it’s the opposite of basic bluffing. In a bluff, you will have the makings of a shitty hand, but keep raising in an attempt to get your opponents to fold.

With slow play, you will have a very good hand, but instead of making big raises, you check or call, and let your opponents do the raising. This way, you can lure the entire table into the pot with what they think is a winning hand (or better yet, a bluff).

If you have several opponents behind you. you can trap them with an overcall this way too; normally when the river gives you a good hand, you will probably raise, forcing others into a tough spot (and in most cases, they will fold). If you’re playing slow with a good hand though, you will check and call until the very end, and in many cases the players behind you will call or even raise, when they would have otherwise folded.

This strategy works best when you are already a moderate player, and eventually you will be able to play a fine line of bluffs and slow plays. If you are bluffing a lot, players will already be more willing to call your usual bets and raises. However, if you try to trap them too much with slow plays, they will be less willing to fall for your bluffs.

Learn that fine line, learn how your opponents react, and go win some money!