You SUCK at Poker! Try This Strategy

Hey loser, I think I saw you at a table the other day, whining because you were SURE that you had a good chance to win the pot and make some of your money back with a decent starting hand. Then the other guy “sucked out” and got triple Kings from the river! What a lucky bastard! He folded to all your previous raises!

No, he’s not lucky. He was biding his time, and you were playing his game. By waiting for just the right time, this “tight” player now has you fooled. Does he only bet with a sure hand? Or does he calculate his odds and outs? Oh shit, another raise, he must have a good hand. Better fold. Oops, he had nothing!

You suck.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Well there is if you keep sucking, and keep losing money! Try this instead:

Play tight poker at the beginning; only play premium hands at first, and don’t chase draws. Check your ego at the door, and if you crave action, go play something else. If you’re playing against inexperienced players (Cake Poker is famous for having plenty of fish at their tables), they will assume you are weak, and will try to run over you with huge bets.

While they are doing this, you will observe and see what they are betting with. You will soon be able to pick the loose players from the careful ones. When you do get a strong hand, re-raise and see how they react. Good players will fold, but the shitty players will keep throwing their money into the pot. Just don’t let these noobs draw out on you – sometimes they do get lucky.

Look out for the loose players that may fold to your raise on the Turn. If they feel that you, the tight/weak player is chasing them off a pot too often, they will assume that you are bluffing too much, or that they can’t control their need for action. They might go on tilt, and start protecting their own ego. Yup, this is how you used to play, loser. Turn the tables!

This is the difference between losers like you, and winners like me: I know when to lay down a good hand when I think I’m beat. Morons like yourself will play by “feel” and will not lay down what is most likely a crap hand. If you can put down a good starting hand when the board indicates you are beaten and your hand hasn’t improved, then you might see some success for once in your life.

I will usually start a session playing loose and aggressive; bluffing with mediocre hands and “trying” to go all the way with not absolute garbage, but something that an inexperienced player might assume would win. Basically, I try to depict myself as a loser, like you. Then I will change gears, and play similar to above; I only play premium starting cards. Most of the geeks at the table won’t notice this strategy change, and assume I am still playing mediocre hands. Sometimes they will see me as such an easy target, they will bet on their mediocre hands, only to see me win. In the long run, I will win, and in some cases people who were originally winning against me are the biggest losers in the end. Again, this works best against poor-to-middling players, like the ones found in easy online poker rooms.

Just keep in mind that if you play tight and aggressive, you are pretty much guaranteed a better than 50% chance of winning at the showdown. Just stick to the plan, and the odds will be in your favor when it counts the most.